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They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true. As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank. Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home & devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home & economist in Bed. Q: Why do women live longer than men? A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u. After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that. Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr : married. Man: Will it help? Dr : No, but the thought of long life will never come. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his examination? 'Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I never told them anything!!' What's the difference between people who pray in church and those who pray in casinos? The ones in the casinos are serious. When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness. A little boy went up to his father and asked : 'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?' His father replied: 'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine.' Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : 'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.' The mother wrote back the next day: 'If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!' |
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