Joke du jour

Recent Joke du Jour

  • Révisez vos départements...  Révisez vos départements... COUCOU..... il va falloir vous creuser les méninges !Connaissez-vous encore les noms des départements français?Alors, une petite révision s’impose ! Remplacez les pointillés par le ...
    Posted Aug 28, 2018, 6:49 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Mạt vận Mạt vận Khong cười mà nước mắt cũng dàn dụa !!!!!!Chuyện thấm thía - Thầy: Em hãy cho biết khác biệt giữa y tế và giáo dục.- Trò: Y tế ...
    Posted Aug 24, 2018, 7:24 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Lạc Long Quân và Âu Cơ ly hôn Lạc Long Quân và Âu Cơ ly hôn Vụ chia tay của Lạc Long Quân và Âu Cơ là vụ ly hôn đầu tiên ở VN.Vụ này nguyên do ...
    Posted Aug 8, 2018, 12:53 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?_ *Joke of the day!* _What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?_Great Thought in *Modified* Version....*Wife* is like a *TV* and *Girlfriend* is like a *MOBILE.*At home ...
    Posted Aug 5, 2018, 9:11 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Le Mot de Passe....
    Posted Oct 16, 2015, 1:28 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Joke from the Dark Side... Wife asks her husband, "Please go shopping for me. Buy a carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get  6. A short time later the husband comes back with ...
    Posted Oct 14, 2015, 12:24 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • PIRE QUE TEXTER AU VOLANT .....                 
    Posted Oct 9, 2015, 2:31 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Joke du jour.... There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.So, the grandmother says sit here and let ...
    Posted Oct 9, 2015, 2:29 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • You got mail !.....he he he !...
    Posted Oct 9, 2015, 9:40 AM by Andy Nguyen
  • MARRIAGE D'HUMOUR... A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.'What was that for?' the man asked.The wife replied 'That ...
    Posted Oct 5, 2015, 3:24 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • VIVE LE GOLF !....  En 1923,  pouvez-vous dire qui était :1.  Le Président de la plus grande aciérie au monde ?2.  Le Président de la plus grande compagnie de gaz ?3.  Le Président ...
    Posted Oct 5, 2015, 3:20 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • LA MEILLEURE LETTRE DE DIVORCE JAMAIS VU !! Ma chère épouse, Je t'écris cette lettre pour te dire que je te quitte pour toujours. J'ai été un homme bon pour toi pendant 7 ans . Ces deux ...
    Posted Jan 6, 2015, 12:06 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • ELLE N’EST PAS BELLE LA VIE !!! FROM ANH KIM BO^ GOSSE....... Ce matin j'étais assis sur un banc à côté d'un clochard, il me dit :- La semaine passée, je possédais encore tout ! Un cuisinier ...
    Posted Oct 17, 2014, 3:53 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Un curé à un jeu télévisé                                                                                     Un curé qui a besoin d'argent pour sa paroisse s'inscrit à un jeu télévisé.Cela surprend un peu, mais l'animateur en a vu d’autres et il ...
    Posted Sep 18, 2014, 12:25 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Patrouille de nuit  Un policier attaché à la patrouille de nuit roule doucement sur un parking bien connu comme lieu de reencontres torrides. Une voiture attire son attention plus que les autres alors ...
    Posted Feb 17, 2014, 9:38 AM by Andy Nguyen
  • Les mains gelées.... Les mains geléesUne petite fille explique à sa mère combien elle a les mains gelées.  Sa mère lui répond : 'ma chérie, mets tes mains entre tesjambes et tu ...
    Posted Jan 20, 2014, 1:49 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Elles sont trop bonnes. Je vais passer mes journées en cour. Ce qui suit provient d'un livre intitulé Désordre dans les Cours d'Amérique et sont des choses qui ont vraiment été dites en Cour, mot pour mot:AVOCAT : Êtes ...
    Posted Dec 17, 2013, 4:17 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • -Allôôôô Poliiiiiiiiiiiice ?????? -Allôôôô Poliiiiiiiiiiiice ?????? - Urgence ! Envoyez un flic ! Un chat est entré dans la maison !... - Que voulez-vous dire par « un chat » ?- Un Chat, Merde !!! Un chat méchant ! Vous ne savez pas ...
    Posted Nov 7, 2013, 1:59 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Marital Humour They say that marriage makes a man dizzy, and it's true.As soon as I got a wife, I lost my balance at the bank.Men want 3 qualities ...
    Posted Feb 13, 2013, 1:06 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Luật Giao Thông
    Posted Jan 25, 2013, 1:01 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • La dictée qui rend fou !!!!!!!! Monsieur Lamère a épousé Mademoiselle Lepère. De ce mariage, est né un fils aux yeux pers*. (*pers = entre vert et bleu). Monsieur est le père, Madame est la mère. Les ...
    Posted Nov 7, 2012, 9:27 AM by Andy Nguyen
  • Chez le toubib... Un homme va chez son médecin : son testicule gauche est enflammé. Le toubib l'examine et lui dit d'un air assuré : - C'est une inflammation du testicule gauche. Ce ...
    Posted Nov 5, 2012, 9:03 AM by Andy Nguyen
  • Curé au jeu ....!!! Un curé qui a besoin d'argent pour sa paroisse s'inscrit à un jeu télévisé. Cela surprend un peu, mais l'animateur en a vu d’autres et il ...
    Posted Oct 31, 2012, 9:13 PM by Andy Nguyen
  • Anh Kim Bo Gosse sưu tầm ... Bơm....mệt nghỉ . Đảng ta thiệt...thong manh sáng suốt hết biết !!! Không sao, thằng này bơm mệt thì đến thằng khác...bơm, trong lúc đợi nà ta có thể ...
    Posted Oct 13, 2012, 7:48 PM by Andy Nguyen
Showing posts 1 - 24 of 24. View more »

Révisez vos départements...

posted Aug 28, 2018, 6:49 PM by Andy Nguyen

 Révisez vos départements...
 
COUCOU..... il va falloir vous creuser les méninges !
Connaissez-vous encore les noms des départements français?
Alors, une petite révision s’impose !
 
Remplacez les pointillés par le nom d'un département français.
Vous pourrez alors lire phonétiquement une mignonne petite histoire ..
 
Si vous ne trouvez pas, descendez plus bas, vous aurez la solution.
Mais faites quand même un effort avant de descendre……sans regarder vos bouquins, bien sûr !!!
 
C’est parti :
 
J'étais assis au bar en train de boire un ........... tandis que je regardais un clochard faire la ................  
> > > > > > > > Une dame vint  s'asseoir à côté de moi ; elle portait un manteau  de .............et j'en fus impressionné car je sais  que le .........................
> > > > > > > > Nous engageâmes la conversation, et ce qui me charma chez elle furent ..................et ses yeux ...................
> > > > > > > > Au bout de quelques minutes, elle me demanda de monter chez elle. Il fallut donc que je ................., et j'acceptai sans crier .................!
Elle ne perdit pas le ................, nous entrâmes dans sa chambre, et à peine arrivés, elle se déshabilla. ses seins étaient  magnifiques, elle les ......................
> > > > > > > > En fait cette fille était vraiment ................... et l'on s'amusa jusqu'à .........................
> > > > > > > > L'exercice ça ................., aussi, au petit matin, je lui proposai du jambon, du saucisson et du ..................
> > > > > > > > Elle fut si contente de ce petit déjeuner, qu'elle m'appela son ..................et me demanda une .................que je refusai de payer,
trouvant que c'était trop  ..................
Elle me fit alors une terrible ...................et je vis dans ses yeux une terrible .....................
> > > > > > > > A cet instant, j'aurais bien eu besoin d'un ................car elle me lança son sac au visage et me donna un coup de pied dans le.................
Tout finit par s'arranger, mais avec des histoires pareilles, elle ..................qu'on ne l'y prendrait plus.

> > > > > > > >  
Pas tout trouvé ?? ce n’est pas évident ..
 
 

> > > > > > > > 
Voici la solution.
 

> > > > > > > > 
J'étais assis au bar  en train de boire un CALVADOS tandis que je regardais un clochard faire la MANCHE
> > > > > > > > Une dame vint  s'asseoir à côté de moi ; elle portait un manteau de LOIR et j'en fus impressionné car je sais que le LOIR ET CHER
> > > > > > > > Nous engageâmes la conversation, et ce qui me charma chez elle furent SAVOIE et ses yeux DOUBS
> > > > > > > > Au bout de quelques minutes, elle me demanda de monter chez elle. Il fallut donc que je VIENNE et j'acceptai sans crier GARD
Elle ne perdit pas le NORD. Nous entrâmes dans sa chambre, et à peine arrivés, elle se déshabilla ... ses seins étaient magnifiques, elle les AVEYRON!!!
> > > > > > > >  En fait cette fille était vraiment GIRONDE et l'on s'amusa jusqu'à L'AUBE.
L'exercice ça CREUSE, aussi, au petit matin, je lui proposai du jambon, du saucisson et du CANTAL. Elle fut si contente de ce petit déjeuner, qu'elle m'appela son HERAULT et me demanda une SOMME que je refusai de payer, trouvant que c'était trop CHER.
> > > > > > > > Elle me fit alors une terrible SEINE et je vis dans ses yeux une terrible AISNE
> > > > > > > > A cet instant,  j'aurais eu bien besoin d'un ALLIER car elle me lança son sac au visage et me donna un coup de pied dans le BAS RHIN
> > > > > > > > Tout finit par s'arranger, mais avec des histoires pareilles, elle JURA qu’on ne l'y prendrait plus.
 
 Il faut faire Suivre !!!

Mạt vận

posted Aug 24, 2018, 7:24 PM by Andy Nguyen

Mạt vận 

Khong cười mà nước mắt cũng dàn dụa !!!!!!

Chuyện thấm thía 

- Thầy: Em hãy cho biết khác biệt giữa y tế và giáo dục.
- Trò: Y tế bán thuốc giả cho người nghèo; giáo dục bán điểm giả cho người giàu.



- Thầy: Khác biệt giữa bán dâm và bán nước?

- Trò: Bán dâm là bán cái của mình; bán nước là bán cái của dân. 
Bán dâm 99 phút; bán nước 99 năm.

Lạc Long Quân và Âu Cơ ly hôn

posted Aug 8, 2018, 12:53 PM by Andy Nguyen

Lạc Long Quân và Âu Cơ ly hôn

 
Vụ chia tay của Lạc Long Quân và Âu Cơ là vụ ly hôn đầu tiên ở VN.
Vụ này nguyên do cũng tại dùng hàng Tàu.
Để ngừa thai, Lạc Long Quân muốn dùng bao cao su của Mỹ nhưng Âu Cơ là đàn bà hay tiếc tiền, bèn lén chồng đi mua bao của Tàu.
Kết quả đẻ luôn 100 đứa con!
Lạc Long Quân bèn đặt nick name cho đám con là Gia Bảo 1, Gia Bảo 2... cho đến Gia Bảo 100.
Đông con quá nuôi hổng nổi, nên hai người thường xuyên cắng đắng nhau, cuối cùng phải chia tay nhau lên rừng, xuống biển...
Lúc chia tay Âu Cơ khóc thút thít, hỏi:
-Chàng đặt nickname đám con là Gia Bảo có nghĩa là "bảo vật trong gia đình" vậy sao thiếp đẻ cho chàng 100 bảo vật mà chàng cứ gây gổ với thiếp?
Lạc Long Quân buồn rầu thở dài:
-Nàng đã hiểu lầm ý ta rồi! Bảo vật gì 100 cái tàu há mồm này!

Gia Bảo là… “bao giả” đó nàng ơi !!!

What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?_

posted Aug 5, 2018, 9:11 PM by Andy Nguyen

*Joke of the day!* 

_What is the Difference between Wife and Girlfriend?_

Great Thought in *Modified* Version....

*Wife* is like a *TV* and *Girlfriend* is like a *MOBILE.*

At home  you *watch* TV,
but when you go out you *take* your MOBILE.

Sometimes you *enjoy* TV.
But most of the time, you *play* with your MOBILE.

TV is (as good as) *free* for life.
But for the MOBILE, if you don't *pay,* the services will be *terminated.*

TV is *big, bulky* and most of the time *old.*
But the MOBILE is *cute, slim, curvy, replaceable* and *portable.*

Operational costs for TV is often *acceptable.*
But for the MOBILE, it is often *high* and *demanding.*

TV has a *remote.*
But MOBILE *doesn't.*

Most importantly, MOBILE is a *two-way communication* (you talk and listen)
But with the TV, you *MUST only listen* (whether you want to or not)!!!!😝

Last but not least....!
Yet TV s are superior because
TVs don't have *viruses,*
but MOBILEs often *do....!!!!*😂

And mobiles can be easily *hacked* or *stolen.*

*_Take Care._*
Stick to TV only..!!!

Le Mot de Passe....

posted Oct 16, 2015, 1:28 PM by Andy Nguyen

Joke from the Dark Side...

posted Oct 14, 2015, 12:24 PM by Andy Nguyen

Wife asks her husband, "Please go shopping for me. Buy a carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get  6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. 
The wife asks,  "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" 
He replies, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you'll read it again. Men will get it the first time.
 
]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
WIFE:  "There's a problem with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND:  "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous " 
WIFE:  "Listen to me!  The car has water in the carburetor!" 
HUSBAND:  "You don't even know what a carburetor looks like.  I'll check it out.  Where's the car?
WIFE:  "In the river"
 
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
A frightening statistic!
25%  of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. 
That's  scary. It means 75% are running around untreated. 
 
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
A young man    wanting to get his beautiful blonde wife Meg something nice for their first wedding anniversary, buys her a cell  phone. He shows her the phone and explains all of its  features.
Meg is excited about the gift and adores her new phone. 
The  next day Meg goes shopping. Her phone rings and, to her  astonishment, her husband's on the other end. 
"Hi  Meg," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" 
Meg  replies, "I love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as  a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand..." 
"What's  that, sweetie?" asks her husband.
"How  did you know I was at Dillard’s?
 
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
Husband  and wife have a tiff. Wife calls her mom, and says, "We fought again, I'm coming to live with you."  e
Mum  says, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I'll come live with you.
 
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
Today’s  Short Reading From the Bible...
From  Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."
Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!  

PIRE QUE TEXTER AU VOLANT .....

posted Oct 9, 2015, 2:31 PM by Andy Nguyen


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Joke du jour....

posted Oct 9, 2015, 2:29 PM by Andy Nguyen

There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
So, the grandmother says sit here and let me tell you about those young boys.
He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that but, dont let him do that.
He is going to try to feel your breast, you are going to like that but, dont let him do that. 
He is going to try to put his hand between your legs , you are going to like that but, dont let him do that.
But most important, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that but, dont let him do that, it will disgrace the family. 
With that bit of advise, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
So, the next day she told her grandmother that her date went just like she said.
But she said "grandmother I didnt let him disgrace the family. When he tried I turned over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."



You got mail !.....he he he !...

posted Oct 9, 2015, 9:40 AM by Andy Nguyen

MARRIAGE D'HUMOUR...

posted Oct 5, 2015, 3:24 PM by Andy Nguyen

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on'.
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'.

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